from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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