My hand turned me down
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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