Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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