We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize