The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
