I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
