Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
