so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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