I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
