Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
