Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize