Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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