So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
