The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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