oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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