I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Bring me that man meat
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize