My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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