I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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