it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
