Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize