the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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