you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
