Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize