My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
