She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize