I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Two words: nipple clamps
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