Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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