Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
