some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
