I am puke
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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