I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
