So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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