1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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