dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
