I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
