Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
