just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize