he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
