im six kinds of drunk right now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
