if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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