I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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