If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
