where does the pee come out of this thing
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
