I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
