im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize