I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
