There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
