We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he was CRYING into my vagina
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
