we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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