Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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