Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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