We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
