Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
