no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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