literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
