You really coming over, don't trick.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
