I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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