I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
