I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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