so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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