Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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