? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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