that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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