so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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